A Past Forgiven Read online

  “Ah, come on, you two,” Emily teased. “It’s a good thing I haven’t eaten yet.”

  “Your day will come,” Jess said as she locked the door. “I hear Randall’s been coming around to see you.”

  A rosy blush colored Emily’s cheek before she could turn her head. Jess laughed. She was glad Emily had found someone and Jess knew Randall was a good guy.

  Though the IHOP wasn’t far, the trio loaded up in the SUV as the distance was too much for Jess to walk in her current condition. Just going up and down the stairs left her winded, and by the end of the day, she would have to prop her feet up to let them rest after walking all over campus.

  “I’m so glad it’s summer break,” Jess said as she stretched the seatbelt across her belly. “I’m going to spend all day tomorrow just sitting on the couch.”

  “You can have one day,” Chad said, “but remember the doctor said you should keep moving.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Jess said in a good-natured tone. “Just drive. I’ve been craving pancakes with blueberry syrup for a week now.”

  Chad smiled and pulled out of the parking lot.

  “To a wonderful year,” Chad said holding up his glass of orange juice as the trio finished their food.

  “Cheers,” the girls agreed and clinked glasses. Jess lifted the glass to her mouth for a sip and then froze. Her eyes widened.

  “What is it?” Chad asked, his eyes wide with concern.

  “It’s time.”

  There was a moment of silence and then everyone spurred into action, speaking at the same time. “I’ll get the check, I’ll start the car, Are you okay?” Emily grabbed the keys from Chad and darted out the door.

  Chad waved the waitress over and asked her for the bill. When the waitress returned, he didn’t even look at the bill, just pulled two twenties out of his pocket and threw them in the black folder. Then he hurried to Jess’s side of the table and held out his hand to help her up.

  Emily had the SUV running as they reached the parking lot and Chad helped Jess into the front seat before climbing in the back. After buckling in, he pulled out his cell phone to text his family.

  “What are you doing?” Chad asked as he noticed Jess retrieving her phone as well. “Aren’t you in pain?”

  She paused for a minute as if thinking. “Actually, no.” Her eyes widened. “Is that a bad thing?”

  “How would I know?” He threw his hands up in the air in a gesture of exasperation and then tugged one through his hair, creating an uneven part. “I’ve never had a baby.”

  A small smile tugged at Jess’s lips. “Neither have I,” she reminded him. “It’s my first time too, so I have no idea what to expect.”

  “Don’t look at me,” Emily said from the driver’s seat. “I’m still a virgin.”

  As Chad laughed, his nerves calmed a little. They were in this together, and everything would be okay.

  As the whooshing hospital doors parted at the trio’s entrance, the nurse at the front desk looked up at them.

  “Can I help you?” she asked.

  “Yes, ma’am,” Jess said. “I’m pretty sure my water broke.”

  “You’re pretty sure?” The woman asked. “You mean you don’t know?”

  “Well, it’s my first time in labor, so I’m not sure what to expect, but there was a lot of liquid.”

  “Al’ right, we’ll have the doctor confirm,” the nurse said. She turned to her computer and clicked several times on her mouse. “Let’s get you checked in.”

  When the check-in was complete, an orderly appeared with a wheelchair and whisked Jess down the hallway to room 105. He helped her out of the chair and onto the hospital bed before exiting the room and leaving her alone, momentarily.

  The door opened a minute later, and a dark-haired nurse entered the room holding a blue hospital gown. “Hi, I’m Nancy,” she said. “We need you to get changed into this. Dr. Stevens will come check you. If your water has broken, we’ll get you moved to a delivery room and your husband and friend can join you.”

  “Thank you,” Jess said as she took the gown. As soon as Nancy exited the small room, Jess climbed down from the bed, removed her street clothes, and put the gown on. It was a cloth one at least with little white flowers, but it was still completely open in the back. Jess couldn’t tie it herself, so the cool air sent shivers down her spine.

  A knock sounded and a short woman with graying hair entered the room. “Hello, I’m Dr. Stevens,” she said as she crossed to the antibacterial dispenser and rubbed some on her hands. “I hear you think your water broke.”

  “I’m fairly certain,” Jess said, “but it is my first birth.”

  “Congratulations,” Dr. Stevens said. “Okay, lay back and put your feet here in the stirrups.”

  Jess did, trying to ignore the cold that was creeping in through her socks. The doctor poked and prodded a bit, and Jess tried not to grimace. She hated this part, always had.

  “Well, your water definitely broke,” the doctor said. “You aren’t feeling any contractions though?”

  “I don’t think so,” Jess said. “I’m not feeling any pain.”

  “All right, we’ll give it another few hours to see if labor kicks in. If not, we’ll put you on a Pitocin drip. I don’t want to let it go too long with your water broken.”

  Jess nodded though she had no idea what that meant. No one had ever mentioned Pitocin in the few birthing classes she had attended, and all the movies she had watched had the women screaming in labor shortly after their water broke.

  The doctor exited, and Nancy returned to help Jess down the hall to the delivery room. Chad and Emily were already inside. Chad jumped up from the chair he had been sitting in as Jess entered.

  “Calm down,” Jess said. “No active labor yet.”

  Nancy helped her into the bed and then attached a belt-like device around her stomach. “This will monitor your contractions,” Nancy said, “so don’t take it off. It’s on a long cord so you can stretch it into the bathroom. I’ll leave my number on the board for you.” She pointed to a small whiteboard on the wall. “Call if you need anything.”

  As Nancy exited, Chad crossed to the bedside and took Jess’s hand. His hand was sweaty and warm. “You sure you’re ready for this?” she asked.

  “Not at all,” he said, shaking his head, but a smile remained on his lips. “We’ll figure it out though.”

  The next few hours flew by in a whirlwind. Chad’s family arrived, bringing balloons and flowers. Jess’s mother showed up moments later and introductions flowed around the room. Emily and Randall entered after that, having returned with clothes for Jess and the packed diaper bag that had been sitting by the front door of Chad and Jess’s apartment in preparation for this day.

  Then the doctor entered to check on Jess’s progress again. Her eyes widened a little at the number of people in the room, but she politely asked them to stand back as she grabbed the white readout paper from the machine to the left of the bed. Her forehead wrinkled as she surveyed.

  “Are you feeling any contractions yet?” Dr. Stevens asked, turning her dark eyes on Jess.

  “I don’t think so,” Jess said. “I have some discomfort, but no pain. Would it be pain?”

  The doctor nodded, almost absently, and then checked the belt around Jess’s stomach again. “It looks like we’ll have to give you Pitocin to speed up the labor,” she said, and her fingers clicked across the keyboard of the computer.

  Jess’s pulse quickened at the words. “Can it wait? I’d like to have as natural a labor as possible.”

  “I can give you two more hours, but no longer. We don’t want to risk infection.”

  Jess nodded. Two hours wasn’t that long, but hopefully it would be long enough.

  The doctor shuffled out of the room, and the tense silence descended again. Eyes shifted back and forth. No one seemed to know what to say. Jess readjusted her position in the bed, trying to get more comfortable, and the small move seemed to break the st
illness.

  Chad’s father offered to pray for the delivery, for Jess, and for the future of the baby. Everyone circled around the bed and clasped hands.

  Nancy entered a few hours later and put her hands on her hips. “I don’t know how you all got in here, but we have a three-guest limit in the room during delivery. Some of you will need to go wait in the main waiting room until after the baby comes.”

  Everyone looked to the person nearest them. No one wanted to volunteer to leave, which left the decision up to Jess. She knew she wanted Emily in the room, and even though she felt closer to Chad’s mother than to her own, the look in her mother’s eyes said she would be disappointed if she couldn’t stay. “Okay, Chad, Emily, and Mom can stay until the baby is born. Then the others can come back, right?”

  Nancy nodded, and the others shuffled from the room.

  “So, Chad, where are you from?” Jess’s mother asked. Though they had met twice before, Jess’s mother had been more focused on Jess those times and hadn’t asked Chad many questions at all.

  “California originally, but we moved to Texas when I was in High School because my dad got a job here.”

  “And what do you do?” It was odd to see her mother taking such an interest in a man in her life, but nice at the same time.

  “Right now, I’m a TA for a psychology class, but eventually I hope to have my own counseling practice.”

  “Really?” Jess asked from the bed. He had never mentioned wanting to be a counselor.

  “What else would I do with a psychology degree?” he asked, a smile stretching across his face. “You pretty much either have to teach or be a counselor.”

  The nurse re-entered with a clear bag and hooked up the IV. “You should start feeling this soon; it might be a little cold. If you start feeling contractions and want the epidural, just hit the button, and I’ll send the anesthesiologist in.”

  As the cold liquid entered her arm, Jess cringed. It wasn’t exactly painful, but the feeling of ice mingling with blood wasn’t comfortable either. An uncontrollable shiver ran over her body.

  “Would you like an extra blanket?” the nurse asked.

  Jess nodded as her teeth began to chatter slightly. The nurse ducked out of the room, returning a minute later with a warm blanket. Slowly the chills subsided, and Jess began to warm up again. With the heat came an intense pain in her abdomen. Her eyes widened, and she held her breath until the pain ceased. Had that been a contraction? The paper readout of the monitor next to her displayed a spike in the graph, confirming the hypothesis.

  “Was that a contraction?” Emily asked.

  Jess nodded, her jaw slowly unclenching. The pain had been bad, but not unbearable. As the afternoon wore on though, it became harder to tolerate. When she could stand it no longer, Jess punched the button on the call pad. The nurse popped in a few moments later, took one look at Jess’s face, and left the room again promising to be right back.

  When she re-entered, she had another new face with her. “This is Michael. He’ll administer the epidural.”

  Relief flooded Jess at the words. She had wanted to be strong, but the pain had quickly become unbearable. Michael and Nancy helped her sit up and lean forward – not an easy task with a large belly.

  Michael cautioned her to be still, but the contractions were even stronger when she leaned forward. Tears flooded Jess’s eyes at the intensity of the pain. Chad hurried over, offering support and distraction until the needle was inserted in her back.

  The pain dulled as they helped Jess lay back. A glorious numbness took over. The nurse checked the read out again before exiting the room with Michael.

  “Better?” Chad asked.

  Jess nodded. There was now just a dull throb, but none of the intense pain. The time seemed to pass ever more slowly. The nurse returned, checking the monitor read out again.

  “Are you feeling any contractions?” she asked.

  Jess shook her head. The pain was completely gone.

  The nurse’s brow furrowed, and she left the room, returning a moment later with the doctor. “Feeling no pain, Jess?” she asked.

  “Nothing. Should I be?” A tiny inkling of fear stirred in her belly.

  “I’m sure it’s all fine. Let’s take a look, shall we?” She motioned for the others to stand at the far end of the room, so she could perform the physical examination again. “Oh, there’s the top of the head, so it looks like we’re ready. I need you to push the next time you feel a contraction.”

  “But I’m not feeling any contractions,” Jess said, fear mounting in her heart. “I don’t feel anything.”

  “No worries,” Dr. Stevens smiled, “I’ll tell you when to push.”

  As Nancy took her place beside the doctor, Chad hurried to the head of the bed and grabbed Jess’s hand.

  “Okay push,” the doctor said.

  Jess pushed like the nurse had told her, hoping she was doing it correctly.

  “Okay, relax. And push again.”

  The process continued a few more minutes, and then the baby cried. Jess’s heart seized with emotion. The nurse placed the baby on her chest for a minute as the doctor finished checking Jess. When the doctor was finished, Nancy took the baby to be weighed, measured, and checked. A few minutes later, Nancy returned with the baby bundled in a receiving blanket.

  “Are you ready to hold her?”

  Jess nodded and held out her arms. The tiny baby was perfect. Just a dusting of black fuzz covered her head. Jess’s heart filled with love. She would move heaven and earth for this child, and as Chad leaned in to look at the baby, Jess saw the same emotion in his eyes.

  “She’s so beautiful,” he said, touching her head hesitantly.

  “Yes, she is.” Jess kissed her tiny angel on the forehead, then motioned her mother and Emily over. A smile broke out on her mother’s face as she approached. Regret and love fought for prominent placement on her face.

  When the doctor and nurse were finished with all the checks on the baby and Jess, they left the room, allowing the rest of the brood in the waiting room to join the group. Baby Kayleigh was passed back and forth, oohed and aahed over, rocked, and cuddled by everyone in the room.

  At the end of visiting hours, the new nurse on shift came and asked everyone to leave. Chad and Jess were left alone in the room, which now seemed unnaturally quiet without the noise from everyone else.

  Jess held the sleeping angel, stroking her hair while she slept, and poured her heart out to the little girl. “Darling daughter, we didn’t do this right, but we promise to love you and do all that we can to give you the best life possible.” Jess kissed the little button nose and looked up at Chad who smiled before kissing her forehead lightly.

  Jess spent the night with Kayleigh curled in her arm. When the nurses would come in to check the vitals, they would always point out the bassinet. “You could get better sleep,” they would say, but Jess shook her head. Sleep was not necessary tonight, but bonding with her daughter was.

  Jess’s eyes wandered to Chad’s sleeping form on the couch. The love he had for his daughter had shone from his eyes every time he held her, and Jess knew that whatever might come, he would always do what was best for Kayleigh. He would never be like the abusive father figures that had been in Jess’s past.

  With a smile, Jess reflected on the past year and how different her life had turned out all because of a perky blonde and her God.

  The End!

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  If you enjoyed this book, please leave a review at your retailer. It really does help others find a book they might enjoy!

  While this is the end of the Heartbeats series for now, keep reading for a sneak peek at my Star Lake series starting with When Love Returns!

  Author’s Note

  When I first wrote When Hearts Collide, Jess was Amanda’s roommate, but then I decided Jess needed her own story and her chance at redemption. Thus, A Past Forgiven was born.

  I really enjoy writing redemptive fiction beca
use I know that people aren’t perfect, but through God’s love and refining, we all become better.

  I hope you enjoyed this story. If you did, would you do me a favor? If you did, please leave a review. It really helps. It doesn’t have to be long - just a few words to help other readers know what they’re getting.

  I’d love to hear from you, not only about this story, but about the characters or stories you’d like read in the future. I’m always looking for new ideas and if I use one of your characters or stories, I’ll send you a free ebook and paperback of the book with a special dedication. Write to me at [email protected]. And if you’d like to see what’s coming next, be sure to stop by authorloranahoopes.com

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  I also have a weekly newsletter that contains many wonderful things like pictures of my adorable children, chances to win awesome prizes, new releases and sales I might be holding, great books from other authors, and anything else that strikes my fancy and that I think you would enjoy. I’ll even send you the first chapter of my newest (maybe not even released yet) book if you’d like to sign up.

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  Even better, I solemnly swear to only send out one newsletter a week (usually on Tuesday unless life gets in the way which with three kids it usually does). I will not spam you, sell your email address to solicitors or anyone else, or any of those other terrible things.

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  Turn the page for a sneak peek at a new series starting with When Love Returns!

  Not ready to say Goodbye yet?

  Love Jess and Chad? Well, you’ll see Jess again for a minute in The Still Small Voice, but until then, why not journey to Star Lake and meet a whole new cast of characters?

  When Love Returns

  She loved him but couldn’t tell him…