Love Conquers All Page 3

  He opened his arm and pulled her against him. Lanie could feel his heart beat beneath her palm. “When is your birthday?”

  “Why?” he asked.

  “Because I’m curious,” Lanie asked. In reality, she wanted some piece of him. So far, everything he had shared had been superficial. She knew he liked eighties music and working out. She knew where he lived and what he drove, but she didn’t know much else about him, and it was starting to worry her.

  “It doesn’t matter,” he said. His eyes stayed glued to the television but his arm tightened around her.

  “It does to me,” she said, reaching up and turning his face to hers. “I want to know you, Azarius, like really know you.”

  He returned her gaze, but instead of answering with words, he leaned closer and placed his lips on hers. Fire burned through her at his touch, and for the moment, it didn’t matter.

  Chapter 4

  As the weeks continued to fly by, winter’s icy talons faded to the first buds of spring. Though Lanie always felt connected to Azarius when they were together, doubts would creep in when they were apart. If only he would open up to her, then perhaps she could quell the thoughts that haunted her when her phone remained silent.

  On the way to his house that evening, Lanie realized he had never been to her house. Though she didn’t mind hanging at his place - there were no memories of a failed marriage there - she did wonder why he’d never even asked to come to her house, especially with Greg at his place. Not that Greg ever bothered them. Most of the time he excused himself and went upstairs as soon as Lanie arrived.

  The lights in the house were dark when Lanie pulled into the drive. She checked her watch. 8:05, five minutes later than she said she’d be there. Lanie fired off an instant message, but no reply came. Perhaps he was resting upstairs. Azarius had often told her to come on in if the door was unlocked.

  With the engine off, the surrounding stillness blanketed her. Would the neighbors think she was breaking in? She’d never spoken with any of them, but surely they would recognize her car by now.

  She rang the bell, feeling more conspicuous as the seconds ticked by. When no lights came on, she tried the knob. It turned in her hand, and she ventured inside. The living room was completely dark, and Lanie wasn’t sure where the light switch was.

  As she fumbled with the flashlight feature on her phone, a light in the kitchen flicked on. Lanie jumped, nearly dropping her phone, before she realized it was Greg. He stood against the far counter, a bottle of milk in between his feet.

  “Greg, it’s me Lanie,” she said when he made no motion to greet her.

  “Lanie?” Though not slurred, it was clear he had been drinking by the way he said her name.

  “Yeah, is Azarius home?”

  Greg shook his head as he bent over and retrieved the milk container from the floor. “I don’t know where he’s at, but you’re welcome to wait.”

  Lanie bit her lip as the refrigerator door opened and closed. She did want to see Azarius, but she had never been alone with Greg, and she wasn’t sure she trusted him. “Um, maybe I’ll just see if he answers a call.” She punched in his number, but as it rang in her ear, a light flashed on the back of the couch and she realized his phone sat there charging. Well, at least that explained why he hadn’t responded to her text.

  “He gave you his number?” Greg asked as he entered the living room. Dark circles ringed his eyes and the wrinkled t-shirt and sweats he wore appeared as if he’d slept in them all day.

  “Um, yeah, finally,” Lanie said, ending the call. “Why is he so secretive about it anyway?”

  Greg shrugged and sat down on the end of the couch. “He just is. I won’t talk bad about my brother. I mean he’s not my real brother, but you know what I mean.”

  Lanie nodded and sat at the other end of the couch. “I wasn’t asking you to speak ill of him.”

  “He likes you though.” Greg’s tone was so nonchalant Lanie almost missed the words, and rather than look at her, he flicked on the television.

  “How do you know?” Lanie asked, wishing she had his undivided attention, but determined to fish for whatever information she could get.

  Another shrug. “I just know. He’s different around you. I haven’t seen him that way since…” He snapped his mouth shut, and Lanie knew there was more to the story.

  “Why doesn’t he ever tell me then?”

  Greg shook his head, keeping his lips sealed.

  With a small sigh, Lanie turned her attention to the television, hoping Greg would open up again. “Does he talk about me?” she asked.

  “A little. I know you’re still married.”

  “Only on paper,” Lanie said. “Denny’s moved out, and I haven’t even heard from him since he left. The paperwork should be finalized any day now.”

  “How serious are you?”

  The intensity of the question caught Lanie off guard and she paused before answering. She believed she loved Azarius, but the secrecy he held kept her from falling completely. There were times she could imagine a life with him and other times she believed he would change his mind one day and she would be left alone, again.

  “I could be serious,” she said. “If I knew he was.”

  “What makes you think he’s not?” Greg asked.

  “He never asks me over,” Lanie said, dropping her eyes to her hands. She had never voiced that insecurity out loud, and she couldn’t believe she had told Greg, a near stranger. “I always have to ask him if he wants to see me. I just want to know he wants me. I told him that the other night and you know what he did?”

  “No, what?”

  “He sent me a Nine Inch Nails video. No explanation, just this video. Then he told me to listen to it.”

  “Which one?” Greg asked, sitting up straighter.

  “‘Dead Souls.’ It’s from the movie The Crow. He asked me if I got it, and I tried but I didn’t see how the words applied to us. I told him I liked the movie, how The Crow would do anything for the woman he loved, and he just replied with ‘It means everything.’ Why can’t he just tell me how he feels?”

  “Az marches to a different drum,” Greg said with a smile, “but don’t give up on him. It’s not my place to say anything, but there’s a reason he’s the way he is and believe it or not, him telling you ‘It means everything’ is his way of telling you he cares.”

  The whir of the garage door ended the conversation.

  “This conversation never happened,” Greg said and Lanie nodded. Telling Azarius of the conversation wouldn’t help her position anyway.

  She stood as the door to the garage opened and Azarius appeared in the kitchen. “You stayed. I was so afraid I would miss you,” he said, stepping toward Lanie.

  “Where were you?” Lanie crossed her arms to keep from running into his. “I told you I was coming.”

  “I know,” he sighed. “A friend called asking for help to set some things up. I thought I would be done in time, but traffic was bad and my friend was very talkative. I’m sorry.”

  His eyes looked sincere, and though his answer was vague, Lanie weighed it with Greg’s words and figured it was as good as she was going to get. He took another step toward her, asking permission to touch her with his eyes. At least he recognized she was angry.

  Sighing, she closed the distance and felt his arms wrap around her. If only she could stay here, in his arms where she felt warm and loved.

  Azarius wasn’t expecting the knock that came at six that night. He had just gotten home and was hoping to change clothes and hit the gym before Lanie came by.

  When he opened the front door, Lanie stood on the other side with wild eyes and a dazed expression. “Sorry I didn’t call first. Can I come in?”

  “Of course. You know you’re always welcome.”

  He closed the door behind her and grabbed her upper arms. The look on her face scared him. He’d never seen her so frazzled.

  “It’s official,” she said and then laughed or snort
ed; he wasn’t sure which.

  “What’s official?” He felt like he had missed some crucial piece of information.

  “My divorce.” She held up a paper he hadn’t even seen clutched tightly in her hand.

  “Ah.” He knew this feeling. Even though he and Krista had been separated for years before she filed, the final proclamation that his marriage was over had hit him similarly. “It’s going to be okay,” he said, moving his arms to the back of her waist.

  Before he could say another word, she leaned up and covered her lips with his own. He responded, enjoying the soft feel of her mouth, until the intensity changed. Emotions he had never experienced from Lanie poured into him and with all his energy, he pushed her back.

  “Lanie, not like this. You’re hurting, and you’re not thinking straight.” Though he wanted to be intimate with her, she had often said she wouldn’t have sex outside of marriage. It was one reason he didn’t kiss her as much as he wanted to because he was afraid if he started, he might not be able to honor her wishes.

  Instead of words, her reply was another fevered kiss. Her hands locked around his neck, and though he knew they’d probably both regret it in the morning, he let her lead him up the stairs and to his bed.

  When Azarius woke the next morning, he sensed something was missing before he even opened his eyes. His hand reached out, but the place where Lanie should have been was empty and cold.

  He forced his eyes open, but the room was empty. On the other pillow lay a white piece of paper. ‘I’m sorry’ was all it said, but somehow Azarius knew it was more than an apology for last night. In the pit of his stomach he suspected he had lost her for good, and a darkness descended upon him.

  Chapter 5

  Lanie Perkins Hall stared at the two-story house she had once called home and sighed. Coming home felt like a failure and not at all how she imagined her life at thirty. At this point, she was supposed to be married with three kids - two boys and a girl or two girls and a boy. Instead, she found herself divorced, childless, alone, and back in Star Lake where single men were as prevalent as four-leaf clovers, but she hadn’t known where to turn after last night.

  She had spent the morning avoiding Azarius’s calls while she hired a moving company and a realtor to sell the house. Her final stop before making the trip home was the radio station where she requested a leave of absence. It wasn’t normally done, but Lanie had been such a staple at the station for so long that the manager had agreed to give her six months to sort her life out and decide what she wanted to do.

  With that chapter of her life mostly closed - she’d have to deal with Azarius at some point - she packed a few bags, threw them in her car, and pointed it to the last place she had felt grounded: Star Lake.

  With a sigh, she turned the engine off and popped the trunk. Inside was a small suitcase with some clothes and toiletries, her tablet, and a few books. The rest of her furniture and clothes would arrive later.

  “Lanie, you’re here!” Her mother’s voice carried from the porch where she stood waving. Lanie shut the trunk and grabbed her purse from the passenger side before mounting the few steps to join her mother, an older, plumper version of herself.

  “Hi, Mom. Thanks for letting me crash here a few days while I find a place.”

  “We couldn't leave you on the street, honey, and don’t worry about a place.” She held the door open for Lanie to enter. “You can stay here as long as you’d like.”

  Lanie forced a smile and swallowed her reply. If she had anywhere else to go, she wouldn’t be crashing with her parents. Though she loved them, they were easier to tolerate in smaller doses like at Christmas or Thanksgiving. If she'd planned better, she could have rented a room at the inn, but spring was Layla's busiest time, and Lanie didn’t want to be an inconvenience.

  “Dad is watching TV if you want to stop in and say hi.”

  “Can I drop my bag off first?” Lanie asked. Elaine, her mother, was easy to get along with, but her father was another matter. Ex-military, Bob had always been strict, and he hadn’t jumped for joy when she moved away or when she married Denny. He’d be even more disappointed if he learned about her latest indiscretion, but she hoped never to have that discussion with him.

  Her mother seemed to understand the hesitation as she nodded and ran her hands over the faded apron across her front. “I’ll be in the kitchen. When you get settled in, come and join me.”

  “Thanks, Mother.” Lanie continued down the familiar hallway to her old bedroom. A faded patch stood out in the middle of the door where her “Danger! Moody Teenager” sign used to hang. The door opened, revealing a room decorated in pink and beige. That hadn’t been the way it had looked in high school, but after she moved out, her mother had removed the posters, re-painted the walls, and mellowed the color scheme. Lanie couldn’t blame her. While John Stamos had aged well, he was no longer the teen heartthrob he had been at one time. Lanie set her suitcase on the floor and plopped down on the full-size bed. It wasn’t as comfortable as her own bed, but it would do for the few days she planned to be here. House hunting was in her immediate future.

  She lay back and regarded the ceiling, wishing she didn’t have to greet her father. Not that she didn’t love him, but he was a ritualistic Christian who didn’t believe in divorce. While she didn’t either, sometimes life didn’t turn out as planned. She certainly hadn’t planned last night, and she’d asked repeatedly for forgiveness. Still, she wondered if the guilt would ever leave her. With a sigh, she pushed herself off the bed and prepared to face the music. True to form, her father occupied the old recliner and faced the television. A home improvement show blared back at him. For as long as memory served her, this was how he spent his evenings. Elaine would cook, they would eat, and then her father would retire to the living room. Lanie wondered if her parents loved each other any longer or if they had decided being roommates was enough after such a long time together.

  “Hi, Dad.” Lanie perched on the tan couch, ready to flee if he became too disagreeable.

  “Hello, Lanie.” An eye flick her direction, but words cool as ice. “You couldn’t try counseling, huh?”

  “It wasn’t all my decision, Dad. Denny didn’t want to try counseling. What was I supposed to do, beg?”

  “Pray, for one.”

  “I prayed, Dad, but it didn’t work out.” Lanie tried to hide her exasperation at her father not hearing her words.

  “What are you planning for employment?” he asked, changing the subject.

  “I’m not sure yet. Being a disc jockey was fun, but no radio station exists around here, and even if one did, I doubt the pay would be enough.” Lanie had thought little about work, but the question gave her pause. There weren't many skills in her arsenal. Radio had been her passion in college and had become her career. A few odd jobs existed in her past, but nothing boasting much talent.

  “Work at the store,” he suggested. “I’m getting older and would like to spend more time at home. I’d always hoped you would take it over.”

  This was not new information. Her father had been pushing for her to run the shop since she was sixteen, and while it wasn’t where she wanted to end up permanently, it would solve her immediate employment issues and give her a steady income while she decided what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. “I can do that, Dad. I can’t guarantee I’ll take it over, but I'll help until I decide what I want to do next.”

  His sniff showed his annoyance that she was still not following his footsteps, but he kept the thought to himself. “Fine then,” was all he said.

  Lanie rolled her eyes, wondering if she and her father would ever have a better relationship. “I wonder if Mom needs any help,” she said, standing and moving toward the exit.

  Her father nodded as she exited the room and made her way to the kitchen where her mother was finishing cleaning. A neatnik, her mother never retired for the night until the kitchen was spotless. “Up for a game?” Elaine asked.

  Lanie and
her mother had often passed the time playing card games when Lanie was growing up.

  “Sure, how about some Yahtzee?” Lanie pulled out a barstool and sat down across from her mother. Though she hadn’t played in ages–Denny had never been interested–Lanie enjoyed the challenge.

  Lanie woke the next morning as the first rays of light peeked in her window. A visit to Layla, her high school chum, was on her docket before approaching the realtor to see what was available. After pulling on a pair of jeans and a shirt, she ran a brush through her hair and headed to the kitchen for some coffee and cereal.

  Her father sat at the table, a mug on his right and his Bible open in front of him. He read it every morning before work without fail. Lanie wished she had his passion for studying the important book, but some days, even though she knew she should, she couldn’t get into it. Her lack of being in the word probably had a lot to do with her slip as well.

  “Will you be able to work the evening shift tonight?” he asked without looking up.

  Lanie stifled a sigh as she pulled a mug from the cupboard. Couldn’t he have started with a ‘good morning’ at least? “Yeah, Dad, I should be able to. I’m visiting the realtor today hoping to find a house to rent, but I should finish by four. Will that work?” “We close at eight,” he said, looking up at her. “That’s a short shift.”

  Lanie bit her lip as she poured the coffee. She didn’t want to start the morning by fighting with her father. “It’s just for today, Dad. Once I have a place rented, I can start earlier, okay?”

  His hazel eyes regarded her, and just like when she was younger, she shrunk under the gaze. How did he make her feel small even at age thirty?

  “I suppose it will have to do,” he said, as his eyes dropped back to the Bible.

  With a shake of her head, Lanie took a sip of her coffee and decided to get breakfast out. She no longer felt like sitting even for a bowl of cereal.