When Hearts Collide Read online

  He jammed his hands in his pockets, drawing her attention to his trim waist and the abs she was sure were chiseled underneath his shirt. Amanda forced her eyes to the side to avoid the heat she could feel crawling up her neck.

  “Okay, have a good night, and I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said.

  There was a moment of silence, and Amanda wondered if he were going to kiss her. Did she even want him to? No, it was too soon for a kiss. Again, as if seeing her thoughts, he leaned in and opted for a quick hug instead before turning back the way they had come.

  Amanda watched him walk away, her nerves tingling at his touch. When he turned the corner and was out of sight, she entered the dorm and walked up the stairs. A dreamy smile played across her face. Even Jade wouldn’t be able to spoil her good feelings tonight.

  Jared slapped the alarm off and rolled out of bed. Though he wasn’t much of a morning person, he had found this was the best time to have his quiet time with the Lord. Grabbing his Bible from the nightstand, he sat at the small desk in the room and opened it up to Matthew 5, the last passage he had been reading.

  “Lord, please help me be the light you speak of here. Use me to help reach others and share your word,” he prayed as he finished the chapter. Then he shut the Bible and grabbed his shower caddy. Working at the Student Union wasn’t his dream job, but it did put him in front of a lot people and allow him to be a witness to them.

  Jared had just finished bussing a table and was headed to the kitchen with a tub of dishes in his arms when he spotted the beautiful redhead. She had stopped inside the entrance and was scanning the area as if looking for something.

  “Can I help you?” he asked approaching her.

  When she turned to face him, his breath caught in his throat. Her green eyes were a bright emerald color, and her skin was a flawless porcelain. Jared hadn’t been captivated by someone so instantly since Nikki a year ago.

  “Um, maybe,” she said with a shy smile. “I’m looking for the bulletin board where they post groups you can join.”

  He nodded and pointed to his right, “They are posted on that column over there. Are you looking to get involved in something particular?” Please say a Christian organization.

  “I don’t even know what they offer.” Her smile stretched further showing off perfectly white teeth, “but I’d love to get involved in some sort of Christian club and a pro-life group if they have one. I know a lot of clinics closed with HB2, but now that it’s been overturned, I just have this feeling they will be coming back.”

  Jared’s eyes widened and his mouth dropped open. He had been hoping those very words would come out of her mouth.

  “What?” she asked.

  “Nothing,” he said with a shake of his head. “It’s just that I’m a part of Students for Life, the pro-life group here on campus. We’re having our first meeting Friday night at Holden Hall.”

  This time her eyes widened. “Really? That is amazing. What are the odds?”

  “Astronomical I’m pretty sure, if God weren’t in control. This is a huge campus, and we aren’t that big of a group. A lot graduated and even more stopped coming once the Planned Parenthood closed in town two years ago, but a core group of about fifty of us have continued, and we are always looking for new members. I’m Jared, by the way.” He transferred the tub to his left hip and stuck out his right hand. “I don’t always look like this, but I’m working today.”

  “I’m Amanda,” she said taking his hand. A tingle shot up his arm at her touch, but he tried to keep his face from showing his excitement. He would have to get to know this girl better.

  “I don’t have a flyer on me,” he said, “but I bet there’s one on the column.”

  He led the way to the column covered with flyers for all the different organizations, and after a minute of scanning, he plucked a bright orange piece of paper off and handed it to her. “Here you go; all the information about us is on here.”

  “Thank you and count me in,” she said flashing another bright smile. “I’ll be there.”

  As she walked away, Jared turned his face heavenward and sent up a “thank you” prayer to God. He knew He’d had a hand in his meeting Amanda, and he hoped God had more in store for them.

  Amanda practically skipped out of the Student Union. Not only had she found information about the two organizations she was most interested in, but she had a feeling Jared would become a friend. There was something in his hazel green eyes and comfortable smile that made her want to get to know him more.

  The buzzing of her phone halted any further thoughts of Jared. Her heartbeat quickened as she swiped the screen to see a message from Caleb asking if she wanted to meet up. Her fingers flew across the on-screen keyboard as she typed out her reply and headed his direction.

  “How are you holding up today?” Caleb asked when Amanda was within earshot.

  “Better,” she smiled up at him and then dropped her eyes. “It’s nice to have a friend.”

  “I’m glad,” he said, grabbing her hand and lacing his fingers with hers. “What would you say to a movie tomorrow night?”

  He pulled her hand tight against his chest, sending Amanda’s heart into overdrive. She could feel his heartbeat against her hand. She opened her mouth to agree, but then remembered the meeting at the pro-life group. “I’d love to, but I have a meeting I promised I’d attend tomorrow. Can we do it the next night?”

  A hardness flashed in Caleb’s eyes for a split second, but then he grinned, and Amanda told herself she had just imagined it. “Sure. What meeting are you going to?”

  “It’s a pro-life group here on campus. I want to check them out to see if they’re worth joining.” Amanda could barely keep the excitement from her voice. Then a new thought popped into her head. “Oh, hey, do you know of a good church around here? I need to get connected soon.”

  Caleb’s brow furrowed and he glanced away, sending alarms bells sounding in Amanda’s head. “Oh, um, I’ve heard of this place called Experience Life.”

  “You mean you don’t go anywhere?” He had never explicitly told her he was a Christian, but Amanda had assumed from his actions and his letting her pray for him that he was.

  “Well, I’ve wanted to,”–he stroked her hand and stared deep into her eyes– “but I get so busy studying, and I’ve never had anyone to go with me.”

  The bells grew silent as a fog descended on Amanda’s brain, and a shiver ran down her spine. Of course, that made sense. She didn’t like going new places alone either. “Well, will you go with me this weekend?”

  “Ooh, I can’t this week, but next week?”

  Amanda nodded, disappointed, but next week was better than not at all, and she had asked him last minute. She shouldn’t be surprised he had plans already.

  “I have some items to attend to, but dinner tonight?” Caleb asked. “I’ll text you when I’m done.”

  Amanda nodded and floated back to the dorm on cloud nine. Images of Caleb flashed in her mind–his blue eyes, his perfect smile. She couldn’t wait to see him again, and after grabbing the mail, she took the stairs two at a time.

  As she neared the room, she stopped and looked again, her forehead wrinkling. A sock was tied to the doorknob. Was this some sort of weird ritual that Jade had? Was it a prank? She had heard there were often pranks in college.

  Amanda glanced up and down the hallway, half expecting someone to jump out of a doorway, but no one else was there. It didn’t appear to be a prank. Shaking her head, she opened the door. Immediately Jade’s head and the dark-haired head of some stranger popped up from under the covers on Jade’s bed.

  Her hands flew to cover her eyes, and her ears burned up. “Oh, my gosh, what are you doing?”

  “Don’t you know what the sock means?” Jade demanded.

  “No, well I guess I do now. This is not appropriate. I live here too.” Amanda hurried to her bed and grabbed her Bible off the nightstand. “I’m going to go do my devotion, and I’d appreciate it if you we
ren’t here when I return, whoever you are.” Keeping her hands as a shield over her eyes, Amanda tucked the book under her arm and left the room.

  She shook her head as she shut the door behind her. It was barely the end of the second week and Jade was hooking up with someone. How could people do that? She had always been taught that intimacy was special and something you reserved for your husband. While television portrayed it as okay to jump in bed with everyone you dated, Amanda had been sheltered growing up and never been around someone who did it. Oh, how she missed Kate.

  Leaning against the wall, Amanda pondered where to go. She couldn’t very well sit in the hallway because eventually the man would be leaving, and she had no desire to see him again. She tucked her ginger hair behind her ear and took a deep breath, trying to slow the adrenaline coursing through her veins. She closed her eyes and racked her mind. Study carrels. There were a few downstairs. Maybe they would be quiet enough that she could do her devotion and get her mind off Jade.

  The study room was near the right end of the first floor. It was like a living room, quaint with a few mismatched couches and chairs, a television, and a bookshelf loaded with books. Thankfully, no one else was in the room, so Amanda curled up in a cushy brown chair to finish her devotion.

  She couldn’t focus on the words though. Her mind kept wandering back to Jade. What must the girl be missing in her life to be so willing to jump into bed with someone so quickly? No advice jumped out of the book, but someone who might have some sprung into her mind.

  Taking out her phone, she dialed Callie’s number. Though Callie was probably busy with little Hope, Amanda could think of no one else who could answer the question better. Callie had once lived with a boyfriend until she ended up pregnant. After deciding to keep the baby, she had then began speaking to local teens about the importance of loving yourself and your body.

  “Hello?” Callie’s breathless voice came over the phone, and Amanda hoped she hadn’t interrupted something important.

  “Hi Callie, It’s Amanda, do you have a minute to talk? I have a problem I’m hoping you can help with.”

  “Sure, I just got Hope down for a nap, so I’m all yours for at least half an hour.”

  “I just walked in on my roommate and some guy, and it’s only the second week of school. Could she be using sex to fulfill some need that’s lacking?”

  “It does sound like she’s compensating for something. Sometimes when people have sex that soon, it’s because they’ve had it with so many people that they’ve lost themselves. They now have a piece of all those other people with them which makes finding themselves and being happy with themselves so much harder. Are you close enough with her to ask about her past?”

  Amanda bit her lip, wishing she could say yes. “Not really. I’m pretty sure she doesn’t like me, though she did ask me about praying the other night.”

  “That’s a start. The best thing you can do for her is to try to be a friend and pray for her. I’ll pray over here as well, and I’ll tell Sandra to add her to the list. Oh, and one last thing. I’d pray for some wisdom. Anyone who uses sex as a coping mechanism is bound to end up pregnant before they’re ready. She may have either had an abortion in the past, will have one in the future, or both,” Callie cautioned. “Just be aware and ask God to give you the right words when you speak with her.”

  Amanda thanked Callie and hung up the phone. As she put the phone back in her pocket, her stomach rumbled, but she didn’t want to carry her Bible all the way to the cafeteria if she could help it. She wasn’t concerned about being seen with it but about spilling food or drink on it.

  A glance at her watch revealed more than an hour had passed. Amanda had no personal knowledge of sex, but surely that was enough time to finish. Deciding to chance it, she headed for the stairs.

  The sock was gone from the handle when the door came into view, but worry still resonated through her at the thought of opening the door and them still being engaged. Closing her eyes, she sent a silent prayer, turned the handle, and pushed the door open.

  “He’s gone; you can open your eyes.”

  Jade’s sarcastic voice snapped Amanda’s eyes open. She stepped inside, still unable to look Jade in the eyes. Her eyes kept returning to the floor as if pulled by a tractor beam or a giant magnet.

  “Have you seriously never heard about the sock before?” Jade asked as she pulled on a pair of black combat boots.

  Amanda shook her head as she sat down on the bed. “No, I don’t believe in sex before marriage, so I don’t know all the code signs or lingo.”

  Jade stopped lacing her boot and stared at her. “You mean you’ve never had sex?”

  “No, I’m waiting to do that with my husband. I’ve seen too many girls get pregnant or their hearts broken for one thing, and I want to follow God’s command on the subject.”

  “Wow, you’re really into this God thing, aren’t you?” Jade finished lacing her boot and sat back.

  Nodding, Amanda returned her Bible to its prominent place on the nightstand. “Yep, I’ve been a follower for thirteen years. He’s always been there for me, even when people failed me.” Something flickered across Jade’s face. For just a split second, Amanda thought maybe her words had stirred some emotion, but then Jade’s face hardened again.

  “That’s exactly why I stay away from God. I’ve known too many Christians who sure didn’t act the part.”

  “I’m sorry you had bad experiences,” Amanda said softly, “but people aren’t perfect, and they will often fail us. Only God is perfect. I try my hardest to follow his plan, but I still mess up. The difference is I apologize when I do, repent, and try to do better next time.”

  Jade’s eyes locked with Amanda’s. Could they be about to have a conversation?

  “And you think that’s all it takes? Just apologize and it’s all good?”

  Her words were filled with so much hate that Amanda could only blink for a moment. What had hurt her so badly in the past? “No, I... I mean yes, you apologize, but I guess it doesn’t always make it better.”

  “It is people like you who turn people like me off. You live in your rainbow and unicorn world, where probably nothing bad has ever happened to you, spouting off trite words about repentance and forgiveness, but you don’t know what it’s really like. You’ve probably never had to hide in a closet hoping your stepfather won’t find you and will give you one night off from being his punching bag or his play thing. I doubt your mom has ever forgotten you in her drug-induced stupor, leaving you to walk home five miles in the dark.”

  Amanda stared at her roommate. Was this her past? “Jade, I’m so sorry,” she said.

  “Save it,” Jade said, pushing herself off the bed and storming out of the room.

  Sighing, Amanda sent up yet another prayer for patience. “God, I’m way out of my league here, and I could really use some help.” Her cell phone vibrated in her hand, and for just a moment she wondered if God was answering.

  Opening her eyes, she read the message from Caleb. He was ready for dinner, and thoughts of Jade flew from Amanda’s mind like leaves in a windstorm. A smile crawled across her face as she locked the door and jogged down the stairs to meet him.

  “So, do you want to come up and watch a movie with me tonight?” Caleb suggested as they finished dinner and returned their plates and silverware to the kitchen.

  The image of Jade and the unknown man in bed flashed before her eyes. “I don’t think that would be a good idea,” Amanda said, “but we can watch one down in the lounge.”

  Caleb’s smile froze for just a moment. “Sure, I just thought maybe you’d want to be able to talk too.”

  “Well, are we talking or watching a movie?” Amanda asked with a laugh.

  Caleb flashed another smile and led the way down the hall to the lounge. A big screen TV sat on the far side of the room. Next to it a shelf was teeming with movies. A few couches and chairs were set up around the room, very much like the study room at Amanda’s do
rm.

  The room was empty, and Amanda paused. Would it be safe to be in here alone with him? She no longer trusted herself completely because new sensations coursed through her body every time they met up. There was no door on the room though, so she decided it would be safe enough.

  Caleb picked out a romantic comedy and sat down on one of the couches. Amanda had hoped he would opt for two chairs, but swallowing her trepidation, she sat beside him.

  Caleb opened his arm, clearly wanting Amanda to snuggle into it. She pursed her lips, trying to weigh the options. Deciding the pros outweighed the cons, she curled into the inviting open space. It was warm, comfortable, and the smell of his cologne reminded her somehow of home.

  He placed his hand on her right shoulder and circled a slow pattern with his finger. A tingling sensation like nothing she’d ever felt before began bubbling in her stomach and crawling up her body, followed by a creeping warmth. Amanda snuggled deeper into Caleb’s side, enjoying the masculine smell radiating from his body.

  Her hand, seemingly with a mind of its own, found its way to Caleb’s chest. The muscles tensed beneath her fingers, and the tingling sensation blossomed. Shifting slightly, Caleb cupped her chin and brought his soft lips down on hers. Amanda’s breath caught in her throat as the tingling shot through her body, lighting up areas she hadn’t even known existed. Her lips parted and Caleb’s tongue touched her own. His hand edged under her arm, touching her side. An alarm began to blare in Amanda’s head, and she pushed back on Caleb’s chest.

  “We should stop,” she said, her breath labored.

  Caleb turned his face away and ran his left hand across his face. “Of course, you’re right. We should slow down.”

  Amanda nodded, but she hadn’t been thinking of slowing down. She had been thinking of slamming the brakes and putting the car in reverse. Red flashes of light had shot through her head, telling her clearly they needed to stop. “I should go.” Caleb’s face fell, pulling on her heartstrings, so she quickly added, “I’ll see you tomorrow if you’re free before my meeting, but I think we need some space tonight.”