When Hearts Collide Read online

  Before he could convince her to stay, Amanda rose from the plush couch and hurried from the room. Her body still pulsed with desire, and she didn’t trust herself to stay strong.

  As she hurried back down the main hall toward the front entrance, she hoped the air outside would be cool enough to tame the fire raging inside her, but it was still warm. Sighing, she forced her thoughts to something else, anything else, hoping to tame the flame that way.

  Amanda’s face still felt flushed as she opened the door to the room. Jade looked up and grinned a malicious smile. “Uh oh, did the goody girl get some? Not so high and mighty now, huh?”

  “What? No, I didn’t,” Amanda stammered, “but I can see how people lose control now. And I am not high and mighty.”

  “It’s not a big deal,” Jade said, “It’s a normal part of life and yes, you are. You act like you are better than everyone with your Bible and your virginity.”

  Shaking her head, Amanda sat on the bed and grabbed her Bible for comfort. The textured black cover radiated calming waves as she held it to her chest, and her heart slowed. “I’m not trying to act like I’m better. I’m just trying to follow God’s word. I know intimacy is a natural part of life, but it is supposed to be reserved for marriage. Otherwise, it becomes natural with everyone you date, and it loses its special meaning.”

  Jade shook her head. “There’s nothing wrong with that, and it is special every time, believe me.”

  “Do you really believe that?” Amanda asked. She didn’t want to sound preachy, but if sex was as special as Jade claimed, why was she always so moody? “Don’t you think it would be more special if you really loved the person, and they loved you back? If you were in a committed relationship?”

  “You don’t know anything about me.”

  Her hard exterior was returning, and Amanda knew she was losing her. “Not for lack of trying. I’ve been trying to get to know you the last two weeks, but you keep throwing up walls.”

  “Whatever. We have nothing in common.”

  “We might. If you’d talk to me, we might find lots in common. At the very least we wouldn’t feel so alone.”

  “I don’t feel alone,” Jade said. “I have Gavin.” And she turned back to her book.

  Amanda stifled a small sigh, clasped the Bible tighter to her chest, and leaned back against her pillow. Jade was going to be a tough one, but she would keep trying.

  Chapter 5

  Amanda swallowed the rather large lump in her throat as she dressed for the Students for Life meeting. Her nerves were jittering out of control. Jared had said it was casual, but the need to make a good impression weighed heavily on her heart. Her hope was that many of the people she met tonight would become friends. The Lord knew she could sure use some.

  Deciding on a green shirt that complemented her hair, she pulled it and a pair of jeans on. After a final glance in the mirror and a quick fluffing of her long red locks, she left the room.

  Even though the sun was setting, the air was still warm as Amanda crossed the green campus to Holden Hall. As one of the oldest buildings on campus, it had a regal air, though the architecture of it wasn’t as striking as several of the other buildings.

  She pulled open the large wooden door and stepped inside. The smooth white floor contrasted the exposed bricks lining the inside wall. Research had informed Amanda that this hall had once been a museum, and she wondered how it must have looked then. A small white sign that read Students for Life pointed to the right, and she turned that direction, her footsteps echoing through the large hallway.

  As she stopped in front of room 101, she took a deep breath before opening the door. Though large, the room was not as big as some of the lecture halls. There were round-tables and chairs set up about the room, and a small stage with a podium sat at the far front of the room.

  Amanda wasn’t extremely shy, but this scenario sent her heart racing. A sea of unknown faces stared back at her. What had she been thinking? A hand waved near the front, and she focused on it. It belonged to Jared and it felt like a life jacket in the unfamiliar water. While she didn’t know him well, he was the only one she knew even a little. Squaring her shoulders and willing her nerves to relax, she pushed her feet forward.

  “I’m so glad you could make it,” Jared said as Amanda reached the table. One other guy and three girls were also at the table. “Guys, I’d like to introduce you to Amanda…. Sorry, I realize I didn’t get your last name when we met.”

  Amanda’s face flamed. “Oh, my gosh, I’m so sorry. It’s Adams. Amanda Adams.”

  His green eyes twinkled as he smiled at her, and a calm flowed over her. What was it about him that made her feel so comfortable? “Okay Amanda. Well this is Chase, Sarah, Becca, and Emily,” he said, pointing to each one in turn.

  Chase reached out a hand first. He had dirty blond hair and friendly hazel eyes. His sharp features stood out on his clean-shaven face. Sarah’s handshake was softer, though Amanda hadn’t expected it with her steely eyes and hawkish nose capped off with spiky blond hair. Becca was a soft-spoken brunette with green eyes and a dusting of freckles across her nose. Emily came across as the sporty one in the group. Her blond hair was pulled back in a ponytail and the glistening of her face led Amanda to believe she’d either worked out just before or on her way here.

  Though glad to meet new people she hoped would become friends, Amanda had no idea if she would remember all their names. She mentally went over them again as she sat down in the empty seat next to Jared.

  The room quickly filled as others straggled in. A few came over to say hello to Jared and the others at the table. Jared was always gracious and introduced Amanda as well, and while she smiled and shook each person’s hand, she knew she would never remember all of their names.

  The sound of a hand tapping a microphone grabbed Amanda’ attention, and she glanced up as a dark-haired woman stepped up to the podium. “Welcome everyone. I’m Tracy Martin, the president of Students for Life. I’ll introduce the other officers in a minute, but I wanted to tell you all a little about what we do for the new people and a reminder for the returners.

  “Last year we were mainly an educational group. We went to the fairs, and we distributed pamphlets about choices other than abortion. We will continue that this year. In fact, our first fair is next Monday. There are details by the door as you leave. I hope you’ll sign up at the clipboard by the door, so we can contact you with future details of other fairs.

  “As most of you know HB2, or House Bill 2, was repealed this year. This was the provision that made abortion clinics have to meet certain standards, and since most couldn't meet those standards, it forced many to close. We don’t know what the repealing of this bill will mean yet, but I have an ominous feeling that it means more abortion clinics will be coming back. So, we are going to double our efforts this year. We may never get Roe v Wade repealed, but we can reach individuals and change their minds about abortion. We can show them the dangers of abortion and the humanity of the unborn.”

  Clapping erupted in the room. “Now, if I can ask the officers to join me up here, I’d like to introduce them.”

  “I’ll be right back,” Jared whispered and walked to the front. Amanda’s eyes widened in surprise. She’d had no idea he was this involved. Sarah and Emily also stood and joined the group up front.

  “This is Jared Masterson, our vice-president. Jared is a junior and has been involved with us since his freshman year. He’s had a heart for the unborn ever since his mother told him she’d aborted a sibling before him.”

  Empathy tugged at Amanda’s heart and tears pricked her eyes as she thought about her own siblings. She couldn’t imagine knowing you should have a brother or sister, but that your mother had gotten rid of him or her.

  “This is Emily Peters.” Tracy continued, pointing to the petite blond. “She’s a Sophomore and our Secretary. She’ll keep notes of the meetings and send out emails if you miss them so you can stay up to date. Emily was adopted
, so the sanctity of the unborn hits close to home. And finally,”–she pointed to the taller girl with the short blond hair– “we have Sarah Stewart. Sarah is a Senior and a communication major. She was conceived in rape, but thankfully her mother chose life. She’ll oversee organizing events and putting the flyers together. We are all open to communication, so if you leave your email address on the sheet at the refreshment table, we’ll be sending out our email and phone numbers to everyone.”

  Jared and the two girls rejoined the table, and Amanda’s heart went out to him, to all the officers really. “I’m sorry about your sibling. I can’t imagine what that must have been like. When did she tell you?”

  “When I was fifteen, can you believe that?” he whispered, leaning forward, “She sat us down during a family powwow–I have a younger sister who was twelve at the time–and told us she’d gotten pregnant in college, but didn’t want to give up her career, so she’d had an abortion. I asked her if she knew what the baby was, boy or girl, you know because I always wanted a brother, but she said she’d had the abortion too early to know. I don’t know why, but it made me question if she really loved us. She tried to impress how important choice was, and that all children should be wanted. She made the baby sound like an inconvenience, and I told her that there were thousands of families waiting to adopt. I thought then, and I still do now, that she was being selfish. Our relationship has suffered since.”

  “Oh Jared, I’m so sorry. That has to be hard.” Amanda had seen a few similar cases when she’d worked at JD’s center. She still couldn’t believe mothers would tell their children they had aborted a sibling, but the counselor on staff had said it was often the mother’s way of processing their own guilt over the procedure. However, the news never sat well with the remaining kids as, like Jared, they almost always questioned why they were saved and not their brother or sister.

  He shrugged. “It is what it is. It helped me find God. After that discussion, I was confused. I couldn’t understand her, and it made me question everything. I found myself at church, and it was there I found healing. I pray for my mom every day to realize what she’s done and repent, and I pray my sister doesn’t follow in her footsteps. She’ll be a freshman at college next year, and I know too well the temptations here.”

  “I’ll add them to my prayer list too,” Amanda said, laying a hand on his arm. “I have a friend who runs the prayer group at my old church. I’ll have her add them to the list. We have at least fifty people praying every week.”

  Jared put his hand on hers and gazed into Amanda’s eyes. A heat, starting at the point of contact, spread like wildfire up her arm, causing her heart to flip flop. “Thank you, I’d like that,” he said. “Now, what’s your story?”

  “My story?” Amanda stammered trying to make her brain focus. She was having a hard time concentrating with his hand on her arm as it was sending her heart jumping. Why was his touch affecting her?

  “This is my third year,” he said. “Everyone has a story; some reason why they are pro-life and willing to fight for it.”

  “Oh,” Amanda nodded, “Yeah, I have a story. My grandmother had a lot of physical issues growing up. When she married, the doctors told her she should never get pregnant, but she did. They recommended an abortion, but she chose to have the baby and my uncle was born. A few years later, my grandmother got pregnant again, this time with my mother. The doctors told her if she didn’t abort my mother that she would die. If she had listened to those doctors I wouldn’t be here, so choosing life is personal to me too.”

  “Did she die in child birth?” he asked.

  “No.” Amanda smiled. “She lived until I was ten.”

  “That’s a good story. It’s amazing how our stories can be so different, yet we are affected the same.” He squeezed her arm before removing his hand. “Here, come with me; I want to introduce you to some of the others.” He held out his hand and pulled Amanda to her feet.

  She followed him around the room meeting other members of the club. Before she knew it, the room had thinned. Amanda glanced at her watch and realized she should be going too. She stopped at the table by the door to sign the email sheet before leaving. No way was she going to miss the chance of getting involved with this group; it was a perfect fit for her.

  Amanda glanced around for Jared who had wandered off a moment before. She wanted to say goodbye, but he appeared deep in conversation with Sarah, so she decided she would just catch him later.

  As she pushed open the outside door, the chill of the night air shook her. The sun had fully set as the meeting had gone on and now shadows loomed across the open campus. Amanda shivered, wishing she had come with someone so she wouldn’t have to leave alone. Goosebumps broke out on her arms, and she rubbed her hands up them to quiet the attack.

  When the conversation with Sarah ended, Jared looked around for Amanda, but she was nowhere to be seen. He had been hoping to walk her home. Taking a chance that he had just missed her, Jared headed to the exit.

  She wasn’t in the hallway, but as he reached the main entrance, he saw a figure standing on the top of the stairs. Her red hair shimmered in the moonlight.

  “Can I walk you home?” he asked as he pushed open the front door.

  She turned to him, a look of relief in her eyes. “Thank you, that would be nice. I didn’t realize it had gotten so late, and I didn’t want to walk across the campus alone.”

  “I completely agree.” Jared shoved his hands in the pockets of his brown leather jacket to keep from grabbing her hand. He had felt such a tingling sensation when they had touched earlier that he wanted to repeat it, but he didn’t know if she had a boyfriend and he didn’t want to overstep any bounds.

  “I’m so glad I came tonight,” she said as they walked down the steps. “This really seems like something I’ll love.”

  “I’m glad you did too. Tracy forgot to mention it, but we have a small office in Holden Hall that we run on a volunteer basis. Mainly we do a lot of planning there, but occasionally the phone rings. We have women who call us first if they aren’t familiar with the clinics in the city, and we help get them set up. It’s pretty boring most days and doesn’t pay anything, but do you think you’d like to volunteer?” He held his breath as he waited for her answer. If she said yes, it would be a great way for him to get to know her better.

  Her green eyes sparkled. “I’d love to. I’m not looking for a job, just a way to help, and that sounds perfect. Besides, doing God’s work is never boring.”

  Her words brought a smile to his face. He had prayed so long to find a godly woman, and while he had met many, Amanda was the first one who had sent his heart racing.

  “Oh,” she said with a sigh. “This is me.”

  Jared swallowed his disappointment at the large dorm building. He didn’t want to say goodnight to Amanda yet. “Thank you for allowing me to walk you home. I hope you can make it to the fair next week.” He stopped just to the side of the front entrance and rocked back and forth on his heels.

  “I wouldn’t miss it,” she said.

  An awkward silence fell between them as Jared debated whether to ask her out or not. He opened his mouth to ask, but in the end, he decided to wait. Closing his mouth, he lifted his hand in a small wave and walked away.

  “Lord, please give me wisdom about Amanda,” he prayed silently as he returned to his dorm. “I feel a connection to her, but I want to follow your will.”

  Amanda returned the wave and watched Jared walk away. For a second, she’d thought Jared was going to ask her out. The thought had excited and terrified her at the same time because she was also seeing Caleb, but then he’d just walked away, leaving her even more confused.

  Had she misread his affections? Did it matter? She was dating Caleb, wasn’t she? Of course she had no idea what Caleb’s idea of dating was. Her idea of dating was seeing only one person at a time, but she’d known many people in high school who went out with a different person each weekend.

  With
a sigh, she mounted the steps and pulled open the large front door of the dorm. A part of her longed for the simpler times of high school.

  Jade looked up as Amanda entered the room. “What happened to you?”

  While Jade was not the first person Amanda would choose to confide in, she had no one else at the moment. “Do you think it’s possible to like two guys at the same time?” Amanda asked slowly as she removed her jacket.

  Jade snorted. “Seriously? Of course, it’s possible. I didn’t think it would be for you, you know being such a prude and all, but for the rest of us, it’s pretty normal.”

  Amanda let the rude comment slide. Her desire for knowledge outweighed a bruised ego tonight. “So, how do you choose?”

  “Choose?” Jade wrinkled her forehead and looked at Amanda as if she were an alien. “You don’t choose; you just date them both until you decide which you like more.”

  “I can’t do that,” Amanda said, sitting on her bed. “Dating is about finding your perfect match. I couldn’t date both at the same time, but I’m no longer sure which one I want to date more.”

  Jade shook her head. “I don’t think I’ll ever understand you. If you date them both, you would be booked every Friday and Saturday night. Maybe they’ll even compete and buy you things trying to win your affection. This could be very lucrative for you.”

  Amanda’s mouth dropped open. Was she serious? “I could never do that. Stringing a guy along just to get presents would just be wrong. Besides, I’m not even sure Jared likes me. He had the chance, and he didn’t ask me out tonight. Maybe I just misread the signs.”

  “Well then, problem solved,” Jade said turning back to her book. “Date the other one, whatever his name is.”