A Past Forgiven Page 4

  “Anytime,” he hollered as she walked away. “I’m here every weekend.”

  Chad looked at Jess’s number in his phone. After the long week, he could use another release, but he wasn’t sure he wanted to call her. Though he’d definitely enjoyed his time with her, he hadn’t enjoyed the feelings she brought up in him. He wasn’t looking for long-term. Long-term could lead to love and people you loved died. It was easier not to go near it.

  No, he didn’t need Jess. He needed a ride. Shoving his phone back in his pocket, he grabbed his helmet and headed downstairs.

  The evening was perfect for a ride, clear and warm. He mounted the Harley and let the engine hum for a minute, enjoying the aggressive vibration of the engine. Then he pulled on his helmet, swung his leg over the bike, and released the brake.

  The speed limit on campus was slow, but University Avenue loomed ahead and shortly beyond that - the interstate where he could ramp up past the speed limit. As he idled at the stoplight, a woman across the street caught his eye. He couldn’t see her face, but her short shorts showed off long lean legs, and her shirt hugged her figure in all the right places. She looked like she enjoyed a good time.

  When the light turned green, he turned her direction and pulled the bike up to the shoulder just behind her. He flipped up his visor. “Care for a ride?”

  She turned and his smile froze on his face. It was Jess. What were the odds?

  A sexy smile lit up her face. “Sure,” she said. “I’m always up for a ride.”

  Who was Chad to deny fate? It obviously wanted them together tonight. He reached behind him and grabbed the spare helmet he kept attached to the back of the bike for just such occasions.

  She took it from him, smoothing her raven locks back as she pulled it on.

  “I don’t have a spare coat,” he said. Though the night was warm, the breeze would get chilly as they rode.

  “That’s all right, you can warm me up later.” As she swung up behind him and laced her arms around his waist, the scent of some exotic perfume wafted over his shoulder. When he was sure she was secure, he throttled the bike, and they roared off into the setting sun.

  Chapter 5

  Jess’s eyes snapped open at the presence of someone beside her in the bed. Chad’s stubbled chin filled her view and she smiled. Then the memory of their last encounter crashed back in. He had let her stay the night, but without a doubt he would ask her to leave as soon as he woke and she wanted to avoid being dismissed again.

  As quietly as possible, Jess slid out of the bed and dressed. With a final glance Chad’s direction, she slipped out of the room. At least this way, she kept the power.

  “Early breakfast?” Emily asked as Jess entered the room.

  “Good night,” Jess answered with a smile, deciding to make Emily as uncomfortable as possible. “I guess you did too since you were out late yourself. At least you weren’t back by the time I left.”

  “I did,” Emily said with a sweet smile, ignoring the innuendo. “Friday nights I have a Bible study with some friends. You could join us some week if you’d like.”

  “I’d rather get teeth pulled,” Jess returned, crossing to the sink to grab her shower items. Of course Emily was off doing something religious. Did the girl do nothing else with her life?

  After a quick shower, Jess returned to the room and dressed. It was Saturday, and she had nothing to do. Perhaps it was time to find a job. Not that she wanted to work, but the money from her savings and the sale of her car would only last so long.

  Jess smoothed her hair down and headed out the door. Plenty of businesses lined the campus. Surely one of them would be hiring.

  The first shop she entered was a bookstore that also sold Tech merchandise. Jess made her way to the back counter where a girl about her age worked the counter. Unfortunately, she was clearly a preppy cheerleader type. Biting the inside of her lip, Jess forced a smile on her face.

  “Hi, is there an application I could fill out?” Jess asked when she reached the counter.

  The blonde cocked her head and flashed a smile that oozed pity. “Oh, I’m sorry. We aren’t hiring right now. If you have a resume, I’d be happy to leave it with the manager.”

  Resume. Of course, why hadn’t she thought to bring a resume? Maybe because she didn’t have much work experience. She’d worked her Junior and Senior year at the one and only gas station in Paducah, but that was the extent of her job history and it wasn’t impressive.

  “Um, I forgot to bring one with me, but can I drop it by later?” Jess asked.

  “Sure,” the girl said.

  Jess received the same story at the next five places she tried and two hours later, she returned to the dorm tired and worried. If she couldn’t find a job soon, she didn’t know what she would do.

  “Hey,” Jess cleared her throat - She couldn’t believe she was about to ask Emily for help - “Do you know of any place that is hiring? I need to get a job.”

  Emily looked up from the book she was reading and studied Jess. “My friend Jared works at the Student Union. I think he said they were hiring. Do you want me to check with him?”

  “Yeah, I guess that’d be cool,” Jess said with a shrug. What was with this girl? She had been nothing but rude to Emily and she was still willing to help.

  “Okay, hang on.”

  As Emily tapped out a message on her phone, the question that had been burning in Jess’s brain burst forth. “Why are you willing to help me?”

  She flashed a small smile. “Look, I won’t say you’ve been super easy to live with, but I try to find the good in everyone. I don’t know what pain you’ve dealt with in your past, but I know that God can heal it if you ask Him.”

  “I appreciate your help in finding a job, but I don’t need your sales pitch on God,” Jess said.

  “Fair enough,” Emily said with a shrug, dropping the subject. A moment later her phone chimed. “Okay, he’s there now and said he can get you a face to face with the director.”

  “Uh, sure,” Jess said. “That would be great.” She followed Emily out of the room, surprised that she had been willing to drop the topic of God so quickly. Emily seemed different from the other Christians Jess had met. They had tried to push God on her at every turn and one had even told her she was signing her ticket to Hell if she didn’t convert. What made Emily so different?

  The campus was bustling with activity as they made their way to the Student Union building. Games of Frisbee and flag football filled the open spaces and individuals lounged against tree trunks reading in the shade.

  Emily pulled open the doors of the student union, and the quiet engulfed Jess. Due to the nice weather, most people were outside and not sitting in buildings. With a purposeful stride, Emily led the way to the cafe where evidently Jared worked.

  The cafe too was quiet with only a few people seated at tables around the room, but as they entered, an average-looking male with brown hair approached.

  “Hey, Emily,” he said before turning to face Jess. “Jess?” he asked, holding out his hand.

  She nodded and shook his hand. “Yeah.”

  He glanced at Emily with a raised brow.

  “What she means to say,” Emily said, shooting a pointed look Jess’s direction, “is thank you for helping her out.”

  “Right,” Jess mumbled. “Thank you for helping me out.” Few people in her life had offered such kindness, and she still wasn’t sure how to process the feelings battling within her.

  “Anything for a friend of Emily’s,” he said.

  Jess opened her mouth to correct him, but thought better of it and smiled instead. Emily had probably already told him about her and therefore he was either being sarcastic or trying to be nice, and she didn’t want to know if it was the former.

  “Okay, well I leave you in good hands,” Emily said. “I’ll be praying you get the job.”

  Before Jess could say anything, Emily walked away, leaving her standing awkwardly with Jared.

 
; “All right, well Darla is probably in her office. Follow me and I’ll take you there.”

  Darla was a short, curvy woman with dark hair and red lips. She looked up from her desk as Jared knocked on the door.

  “Hey, Darla,” he said. “This is my friend Jess. She’s looking for a job. Do we have anything open?”

  “I don’t know,” she said with a smile, “but if Jared vouches for you, I’ll take a look. Come on in.”

  Jess followed Jared inside, feeling like a charlatan as she sat beside him. They weren’t friends; she had just met him. Why was he putting his name on the line for her?

  “Let’s see,” Darla said, clicking the buttons on her mouse. “Well, I have an opening in food service in the cafe.”

  “Um.” Jess needed a job, but she wasn’t sure she could work in food service.

  Darla laughed. “Yeah, it’s not for everyone. Hmm, let’s see. Well, the only other thing I have is a mail clerk position. You’d pick up the mail, sort it by departments, and then deliver it. There might be light filing as well. It’s only ten hours a week though.”

  It was not her dream job, but Jess had no desire to return home to beg for money nor did she feel like losing her cell phone for non-payment or starving. Plus, the job sounded solitary, her specialty. “Thank you, I think it would be fine. Is there an application?”

  Darla smiled and slid a piece of paper across the desk. “The application is merely a formality. I do have to run a background check, but I’m willing to take a chance on you.”

  Jess squirmed in her seat, feeling a smidgen of guilt for the false image Darla had of her, but she needed this job, and though she had plenty of other faults, she was reliable. Quickly, Jess scribbled down her information and passed the sheet back to Darla.

  After taking a copy of her license, Darla shook Jess’s hand. “I should have the background check back by Monday afternoon, so how about we plan to start on Tuesday? If something comes up on your report that would affect your employment, I’ll call you Monday evening.”

  “That sounds great,” Jess agreed. There was plenty of bad in her past, but it had all been done to her, and though she had technically broken the law drinking and smoking before she was legally old enough, she had never been caught.

  As Jess followed Jared out of the office, her curiosity got the better of her, and she grasped his arm. “Why did you do this for me? You don’t even know me, and I haven’t been very nice to Emily.”

  His kind eyes studied her face. “I know, Emily talked a little about you last night at Bible study, but she also said you needed help and that’s what we are here to do.”

  “You’re one too,” Jess said as the realization dawned on her.

  “If you mean a believer,” he said with a chuckle, “yeah I am.”

  “Well, thanks,” Jess said.

  Jess spent the rest of Saturday trying to sort through her feelings of confusion. Emily was like no one she had ever met, and though she’d only met Jared the one time, he appeared to be just like Emily. The two of them were calling into question every judgement Jess had made about Christians.

  By evening, she wanted a distraction. Her hand reached for her phone to call Chad, but she froze before dialing. She had just seen him last night. Would he consider this too soon? With a sigh, she put the phone down and opened her laptop, but after a few minutes of scrolling aimlessly, she closed the lid and grabbed her phone again. It might be too soon, but Jess needed to get her mind off Emily and Chad was the only way she knew how to do it.

  “I only have a few hours,” he said over the phone. “I have plans later.”

  His words cut like a knife, reminding her that she was nothing more than a release for him, but she was too confused to care.

  “That’s fine,” she shot back. “I have plans too.”

  Fifteen minutes later, Chad was in her room and five minutes after that, they were in her bed. As soon as his lips touched hers, Jess’s confusion flew out the window. For the moment, her thoughts were consumed with his chiseled body and luscious lips. That is until the door opened.

  “What are you doing?” Emily gasped from the doorway. “This is my room too. You can’t do this here!”

  “Actually, she can,” Chad spoke up.

  “I don’t need to hear from you,” Emily said, turning angry eyes on him.

  Jess had never seen Emily angry, and after her help earlier this afternoon, Jess suddenly felt awful.

  “I’m going to get dinner,” Emily said, focusing her angry eyes back on Jess. “I want him gone when I get back.”

  The door slammed behind Emily, and Jess turned to Chad. “Maybe you should go.”

  “Yeah, whatever, the mood is ruined anyway and you’re right. Your roommate is a piece of work.”

  Jess shrugged, unwilling to agree with him but not wanting to explain her change of heart.

  As they dressed, an enormous guilt descended on Jess’s shoulders. She often felt used and disgusted with herself after intimacy, but this was the first time she felt guilty. Was it simply because Emily had been so nice to her or was there some other reason?

  “Next time my place, okay, babe?” Chad asked as he pulled open the door.

  Jess nodded distractedly as she returned the quick kiss he planted on her before sauntering off down the hall. After the door closed behind Chad, Jess returned to her bed and curled her knees to her chest. Slowly her guilt turned to anger. Emily had no right to embarrass her like that, and she had no right to tell Jess she couldn’t entertain a man in the room. She paid just as much for the room as Emily did.

  By the time Emily returned, Jess had worked herself into quite a tizzy. “What’s your problem?” she demanded when Emily entered.

  She sighed as she dropped her wallet on the desk. “My problem is that I live here too. If you want to engage in that behavior that’s your deal but I don’t want to be a witness to it.”

  “You can’t tell me I can’t have him here,” Jess spat back.

  “That’s true,” she said calmly, “but I can ask you to respect my position, and I can tell you that he can’t fill the void you have.”

  “You know nothing about me.” Jess’s hands curled into fists at her side, but she found herself angrier that Emily was right. How many times had she used sex to fill the feeling of emptiness inside her only to feel even emptier afterwards?

  “Not for lack of trying,” Emily said as she sat on her bed. “I’ve been trying to get to know you all week, but you keep pushing me away.”

  Jess wanted to hurl more hateful words at her, but none came to mind. With an angry huff, she shoved her earphones in and turned up the music. Emily was stirring up all kinds of feelings she didn’t want to deal with.

  As Chad left Jess’s room, he wondered again what he was doing with a Freshman. He could have his choice of upperclassmen who didn’t have uptight roommates, so why was he wasting his time with Jess? Except it didn’t feel like a waste.

  Every time he was with her, he felt…. different. Not so angry or something. He ran a hand across his jaw and shook his head. What was he thinking? The last thing he needed was to be falling for some woman. No, what he actually needed was a stiff drink. Something to clear his head.

  Chad had never been much of a drinker, at least not until Kyle was killed. After Kyle’s death, he had turned from prayer to the bottle. Tequila didn’t solve everything, but it dulled the ache of missing his brother.

  Instead of heading toward his dorm, Chad turned toward University Avenue. Bruno’s was open early and often had happy hour specials.

  “What can I get for you, hon?” The bartender wore a tight fitting shirt with the words ‘Liquor is my passion’ across her ample chest.

  “Shot of Tequila,” Chad answered as he slid onto the upholstered barstool.

  “Little early to be drinking, isn’t it?” she asked as she turned to grab a glass.

  “Not if you need to do thinking,” he replied.

  “I’m a good listener i
f you need ears,” she said with a wide smile as she placed the glass in front of him.

  Chad gave her another once over. She was pretty though she wore a little too much make up for his taste. However, she could probably distract him from Jess if he needed the distraction. “Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind,” he said with a wink as he picked up the glass and downed the shot.

  Chapter 6

  Jess was still processing Emily’s behavior the next morning when she woke up. Emily lay in her bed reading from the Bible. Though Jess had seen nothing useful when she had glanced through it, something must keep drawing Emily back.

  She bit her lip as she watched Emily. Even after the hateful words Jess had spewed at her, Emily had stayed calm and resolute. She seemed to believe in something rather than trying to be perfect or pushy like other religious people Jess had met.

  “Why do you read the Bible every day?” The words escaped Jess’s lips before she could stop them.

  Emily glanced up, a look of surprise on her face. “Well, partly because God told us to, and partly because it gives me peace. If something is ever bothering me, I can usually find peace in the Bible.”

  “What do you mean? What peace? The only time I ever looked in one, I found it confusing.”

  She chuckled and nodded. “Yes, some parts of it are confusing, but it’s also one of God’s ways of communicating with us.”

  Jess chewed on her bottom lip, trying to understand what Emily meant. “You mean like I ask it a question and let it fall open and I’ll find the answer?”

  Emily shook her head. “No, it rarely works like that. It’s not a Magic 8 ball. What I mean is, the more you read it, the more things will become clear to you. Sometimes you might read something that answers a question you have, but sometimes you’ll read something about trusting people and a friend will tell you what you need to hear or you’ll read something that makes you pray for something or someone.”